I always talk about how up and down life is here, and
recently it’s been really down, yesterday being what I hope is the worst of
this trial.
There’s a Hill Crest student named Remy who could brighten
anyone’s day with his smile and energy. His mother is a drunk and they don’t
have a home, they just float around the village sleeping where anyone will let
them. Remy’s only assured meal is at school, and after school he leaves with
his mom who will cane him for trying to be a kid, if she doesn’t drunkenly come
and take him from school during the day.
Remy was especially down one day and told the head teacher,
Hilda, that he was feeling sick. We assumed that he was just scared to go home
as he said he was caned the day before for asking to go play after school. We
gave him some porridge and let him stay at school a little bit longer, then
sent him on his way. There was not much we could do except make sure he got a
bit more to eat and an extra snuggle before going “home”.
A few days later, Hilda texted me saying she was taking Remy
to the hospital. I was on safari with my family and couldn’t be there and am
unsure of exactly what transpired, but he was diagnosed with a rectal prolapse
and there were loads of issues with Mama Remy at that time also. Everything
that has occurred this last week is also a blur and I don’t know where to start
with it. Remy’s prolapse had occurred four times and the fifth was last
Thursday. Having my car made it easiest for my mom, Mama Remy, Hilda and me to take
him to the hospital this time. His bowels were visible when he was standing
properly and the doctor admitted him into the hospital that night. They were
talking amongst themselves asking why the mass was so big. That night they
fixed it. Over the next few days, Remy and Mama Remy had regular visits from
volunteers and teachers alike. He was discharged on Tuesday.
Yesterday Hilda, Mama Remy and I went to a bigger and better
hospital in Moshi, a town at the base of Kilimanjaro, hoping he would be
admitted and could have surgery to fix the rectal prolapse. They tried to
examine him but he put up a fight and made it impossible. To make matters
worse, he had to get blood drawn and like most kids, hated it. He screamed,
cried, fought, and yelled a lot…and yelled something that made all the doctors
holding him down look at each other and ask why he was saying that, all the
while Mama Remy was on the other side of the room looking away. I made her go
over so he could see her, hoping it would comfort him a bit but he just kept
wailing. Hilda had his body locked in hers, four doctors holding onto him as
one drew the blood. I didn’t know what to do so I just stood where he could see
me and Mama Remy.
A while later I asked Hilda what Remy was yelling that made
the doctors so confused…she told me, and I understood. Now, there’s no way for
me to put into words just how bad Remy’s current situation is for him. His mom
drinks all the time, gets mad or someone gets mad at her, she causes a ruckus
at school or at the neighbor’s house, threatens to run to Babati with Remy, and
apparently threatens to hang herself…and Remy has heard her say that. And he
said it. He’s only three, so I know he probably doesn’t understand what he was
yelling in that lab yesterday, but one day he will understand and one day he might
do something. There is speculation in the village that his prolapse has occurred
due to sexual abuse. So standing in the lab listening to my student wailing about
hanging himself, while his mother, who might have allowed the problem that is
leading to his current pain, won’t even try to comfort him, was difficult to
say the least. I wanted Remy to be comforted through his fear and pain but I
also wanted Mama Remy to see his pain in case the rumors are true. If they are
true, then she allowed a man to come into their room, walk away with Remy, be
inappropriate with him and come back a couple hours later, probably for money.
Apparently the last time this happened was last Wednesday…and the last time the
prolapse occurred was last Thursday. It could be coincidence, it could just be
rumor…I hope it’s just rumor.
We are working on moving Remy into a children’s home owned
and managed by Australians. He was accepted into the home, now we just have to
work through the legalities. Mama Remy has to sign over her parental rights and
guardianship will be given to the home. We will continue to see him through the
surgery and post-op and of course continue to be a part of his life, but what’s
important is that he is never influenced to scream that he will hang himself
and never be sexually abused. Even if the rumors are not true, we need to
prevent the possibility of it happening in the future.
I know there are a lot of gaps in this story and I’ll get
around to filling them in the next couple of weeks, but this is all I can
manage to get out tonight. Send Remy some prayers and positive vibes, he’s an
amazing kid.
