We just took off and are headed to Addis Ababba for the first leg of my flight. During the entire take-off, I was just trying to think of ways I could make the plane stop so I could get off. Of course it didn’t happen, so now I’m sitting here thinking about the past twelve weeks; what I’ve experienced. How much I’ve grown and changed, what I’m going home to and what I’m leaving behind. Coming here, I expected to spend 3 months working at a school, fall in love with children and say “oh I want to take you home” without being truly worried or attached enough to attempt to make it actually happen, figure my life out and go home to the life plan I’ve had for a few years now. I needed a break from school to do something I knew I couldn’t fail at, but this has turned into something so much bigger than I ever could have imagined.
I don’t do well with change at all. So while I knew I would love African life, I never expected to have my own African life. I wake up in the morning not knowing what time I’ll be back to the volunteer house. I go to placement unsure of how long Isaac, Elizabeth and I will spend chatting about nothing and everything at the same time. Weekends are a toss up of Isaac and Elizabeth, visiting my students, or hanging out with my local friends. I thought I would do all the tourist activities, weekend trips to the waterfalls, coffee plantations, Lake Victoria or Malawi, Zanzibar...but I haven’t done any of it. I’ve spent this entire time creating a life here, and that’s what is already so hard to abandon. Being here has made me such an open person, less hesitant to take risks, and taught me to be free. I can’t feel bad about things that aren’t my fault or are out of my control...like living in America. The “land of opportunity.” Ask anyone here what they think of America and they will tell you it’s the land of opportunity. They see the worst life in America as better than the best life here in Africa. I can’t blame them for believing that though. These roads are filled with chaos, corruption, abuse, and poverty. All these people have is faith...because if they can’t believe in a God of some sort, there is nothing for them to believe in. A country where a bag of flour is food for a family for an entire week. Dogs are starving and children are being orphaned every second because of the diseases that taint the blood of their parents. For the average kid, education ends at the age of 13 because they either didn’t pass their final exam or can’t afford secondary school. From then, they start washing windows at stop lights or collecting money on the Dalla Dalla. So few people value the importance of education, and because of the government system of Tanzania, there will be no changing the way things work there anytime soon. Since the election just happened, I’ll admit- I personally am not pleased with the results. But then I had to take a step back and appreciate that at least I live in a country free and civil enough to have an election, and the choice between two respectable candidates, while in Kenya, all the presidential options are currently in the International Court being tried for various crimes of any degree. I’ve learned so much to appreciate things like a peaceful country, being able to trust the police, soap, running water/electricity...parents.
It’s just amazing that I’m leaving a country of needs to return to a country of wants. I never thought this day would come. But here I sit in the airport now, trying to bargain my Subway sandwich down from $4 to $3 because that’s what I have been doing for the last three months. Kind of embarrassing. (They didn’t go for it.) I can’t really get over all the conversations in English going on around me, let alone that everyone is white. This adjustment period back to the western life is going to be hard and take a long time...but a little part of me is now feeling happy to be back. I can’t wait to snuggle with my dog. I’m getting upset thinking about Johnson now and everyone at the airport is staring at me enough as it is because of the pants I’m wearing and the Masaai burn I got, so this is going to come to an end. I can’t wait to talk to everyone in person about my experiences, and don’t forget to keep spreading the word for Hill Crest. xooxox See you soon, everyone!
“Keep the earth below my feet,
From all my sweat my blood runs weak.
Let me learn from where I have been,
Keep my eyes to serve my hands to learn.”
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