So, I'm beyond happy to report that we have almost 3 million tish in donations, so thank everyone SO so much for that!!
I don't want the tone of this post to sound ungrateful or whiney, it's really just informing everyone of the reality here, we are so so so grateful to have the 3 million tish and it will definitely go to helping HillCrest so sooo much.
Okay...So I couldn't go into school yesterday because I felt very, very badly and needed to sleep. I knew Isaac would go look at land with the village officer and felt confident going into school this morning that he would have good news for me! I got to class this morning and told Isaac that we got a bit more money, hoping he would be just as excited as me, because I thought there would be good land news to follow. Thought. There wasn't. I asked Isaac what he found and he shook his head and said "land here is very very expensive." He wasn't kidding...the only piece of land he found for less than $30million was $15million tish. That news made me cry right there...I couldn't help but feel like I got them so excited to have their dreams come true, only to also be the reason to have that idea ripped away. It's an awful feeling. They felt terrible that it made me so upset but Isaac was also visibly upset about the expense of land. He took me to all the plots he was saw with the Village Officer and there is some really good potential land, but there's no way we can afford a 15million piece of land Plus building a new school. The rest of the school day was very heavy, and going back to Isaac's for lunch was quiet. We sat in silence just thinking about what the next best option would be, which is unheard of if the food is on the table. Elizabeth came in and asked why we weren't eating or talking, and she told me for the fourth time to stop worrying and stop thinking. But my thoughts have been clouded with this underlying feeling of disappointment and need to turn the results around. I've been thinking of ways I could keep supporting them when I get home, eventually getting them enough money to build a school. Isaac again suggested a car, but I don't know if that's a good idea because of the gas issue. What if we get them a car but then they can't afford gas? What happens when it needs a repair? Then again gas is so cheap here, is there a way I could transfer money over to them every month? But then will I be able to get a job when I get back to be able to send them that bit of extra cash...I don't know.
I suggested paying off a year of rent for the building they're at now, then building a playground behind the building for the kids. Isaac thinks it might be a good idea but really thinks a car would be the best for them...and I agree, they could really benefit from a car, and we could get a decent one for around 7million tish. But there's a voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me that a car isn't the next best option. I guess this is what growing up is like, having to think about the whole picture rather than just the immediate result. If it is, I don't like it. It's very upsetting. As much as Isaac does want a car, and I think he can sense my reservations, he said "the final decision is up to you, Katherine." But I also don't want that responsibility on My shoulders. It has to come from the three of us. As upset as I was during lunch, he constantly kept reminding me that in 4 days, we have 3 million tsh- he couldn't have made that in 10 years. He assured me that there will be a way and that I will leave having made a difference to HillCrest. But right now I feel like I've bred disappointment. The entire time Isaac and I were eating, Elizabeth went to church to pray. This was by far the most upsetting day I've had here even in the midst of the random spurts of homesickness that make me struggle to hold back tears. Today I couldn't even hold them back, and am having a difficult time now as i reflect on the day.
Isaac and Elizabeth assured me again before I left that I am making a difference in the community without the money, and with the money, we (the people who have donated and myself) will continue to make a difference that will last forever. The gesture will not go unappreciated by the entire village, and I know that's true, everyone here is just glad to have westerners here to teach their children, and I know whatever we decide to do with the donation money will make an incredible difference.
I'm sorry again for the negative nature of this post, and I don't want to come across as ungrateful because as Isaac said, its so much more than they could ever have by themselves, and a significant difference will absolutely be made, it's just upsetting to have such high hopes only to have them fall down before you. But, there's nothing we can do about the price of land. so now we just have to focus on what we Can do with the money. So, with that, I'm open to suggestions. I would really like to pay off rent and get a big water tank, build a playground, and get new text books, notebooks, pens, backpacks, desks, and little whiteboards for all the kids. I really think they would benefit a lot from all of that, and we could supply them with so much of everything. SO much porridge, markers for the whiteboards, notebooks to write in, pencils, anything the could need we could provide in mass. I've got a lot of thinking and planning to do. Praying as well. Thank you to everyone who has donated, without donations we wouldn't even be in a position to Think about ways to improve HillCrest!
That's about all I have in me tonight, I need to get to researching text books and water tanks!
Asante sana, and pole.
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